"This is sick!!" peace, Elder Dude: The Refiner's Fire

FAMILY!!

Hi wow, thanks for those pictures mom, I miss Danny and Garrett so much!!! that looked like a blast. I hope all is well, with everyone. So, this week was insane. Probably one of the hardest on my mission. I feel like I'm going through the refiners fire, and it NEVER stops! To start, last week, some of the people in the branch threw a going away party for me which was incredibly nice. They made cakes and things of that sort; I felt so loved. These people are truly my family in Ukraine. I had 2 investigators come to the party and not b/c they are investigators, but b/c they are mah BOYS! Near the end, they started taking pictures (Ukrainians LOVE their pictures) and I didn't think much of it, I just felt like I was with all my friends. Well, Женя posted them on facebook and the pictures didn't look very mission appropriate. The pictures themselves weren't bad at all, but the fact that I'm a missionary, I don't know how to explain it, they just weren't Elder Rooney appropriate. But this member spoke to me about it and I have never felt so low in my life. I didn't even realize what had happened b/c these people are truly my best Friends here and I didn't think anything of it until a member was so concerned about it that he spoke to me about it. I guess I got too comfortable with my surroundings, and lost site of my purpose. I want more than anything to take it all back, I am a representative of our Savior. I guess I needed this experiance to truly understand the seriousness of my call. It was a hard lesson I needed to learn. So, now with transfers...I got a transfer call however my companion is in America b/c just like my last comp...he too had health issues. So when he comes back hopefully this week, I will go with him to a satellite city to white wash, train and serve as a 2nd Counselor in the branch presidency. I'm scared out of my mind. I feel like I'm not ready for the task. I know that God will make me strong and that I will be able to do all that asks of me. My mission has taught me so much. but I think one of the main reasons that I was called here to this mission, is b/c I needed to learn how to apply myself. I feel like there is so much potential in me that I have never even tried to discover but my mission is teaching me how to forget myself and use that potential to help others. So right now I'm in a threesome again, and I'm kinda over it haha. but if its what the Lord wants then I'll do it. Jeez, surrendering your will to God's is a lot harder than I ever imagined, I never realized how truly "Natural" I am. But life is a learning process and its not always easy. Thanks for all your love and support, I truly have the best family in the world. You are all in my prayers. I'm getting kicked off the computer so I'll talk to you all next week. Oh and as of right now mom, I am skyping for mothers day! oh and my president just made our mission a "motab" (Tabernacle Choir music) only mission; just another opportunity to surrender :)